Preacher's Perspective

I am continuing a short series on a “Preacher’s Perspective” of funerals. In the last issue, the subject of cremation was discussed. Let’s ask another question: does there HAVE to be a service? More and more, I have seen the choice made to have no service of any kind. Recently both my father-in-law and mother-in-law, strong Christians, requested no services, and their wishes were kept. I see no problem with that, though I would make one observation: know your immediate loved ones’ different personalities well enough to recognize those who may NEED a service. Jenny and I have two children, Adam & Erin. Though neither of us desires to have a service, we suspect that our daughter (and perhaps our son) may feel differently. Funerals and Memorials are not as much for the dead as for those left behind who must work through their grief. If either of our children wanted a service, we would want there to be one.

If there is to be a service, what kind should it be? Funerals usually have the body present with the option of either an open or closed casket or, in the case of cremation, the urn of ashes. Typically there is a significant display of flowers around the casket/urn. Funerals tend to be more formal, usually including the reading of an obituary, some scripture & prayer, some music (live or recorded), perhaps a slide display, a message from the pastor, and a closing that involves the congregation filing by the casket and paying their respects to the family of the deceased.

Memorial services tend to be more informal, held either in a church or an event center. No casket or urn is present; instead, a picture/pictures of the deceased are displayed upfront or in a slide display. Overall, memorial services are more joyful and upbeat, with less emphasis on grief and more on celebrating the life of the one that has passed on.

Next week we will look at the Visitation/Viewing event and other considerations.